Movie Review - Jupiter Ascending

so I finally got around to watching Jupiter Ascending its the Wachowski latest foray in films ( they brought us the Matrix ). I was like WTF just happened? literally.  theres Channing Tatum as a half-wolf angel hybrid who gets around on space skates. He rescues Mila Kunis from roswell aliens who kidnap her to harvest her eggs because it turns out shes a reincarnated galactic princess - it turns out her family owns the earth and lots of other planets in the galaxy. wow. and bees know all of this beacuse they can smell galactic royalty. there are tons of bad ass effects.

 - its like the personifications of Dune, Star Wars, 5th Element got drunk at a karaoke bar and spewed psychedelic magic mushrooms all over the pavement - thats this film.  if you can tune out the plot - well you might just enjoy this ride. as with most over the top galactic exploits you might have to park reason at the door as well - (white dudes ruling the galaxy - pullleeeze. if the galaxy is anything like Earth - well then the rulers should be speaking Mandarin).



BEEEEEEEEEES

the thing is if your going to go with the whole over the top galactic ruler is going to destroy the earth schtick you dont go half-way - you A L L the W A Y.

Get a bunch of buff men and put them in S&M gears - give them golden wings.


Make sure theres plenty of spandex, get everyone drunk on $2 jelly shots - and dress up the main villain / galactic ruler like he just walked out of a 1990s Hero parade. 


ensure you have a killer rocking soundtrack.




and presto - intergalactic magic.